A Peek at Instant Rejections

  • By: Jessica Faust | Date: Mar 18 2016

There are plenty of times I don’t need to read the entire query to know I’m going to reject a book. This is one of those times:

[TITLE of My Book] is your chance to represent literature that is a giant cut above all the mediocre material and just plain junk you may be accustomed to dealing with all too often.

13 responses to “A Peek at Instant Rejections”

  1. Avatar Silvia Myerson says:

    Yep, this is definitely a hilarious line! Thanks for sharing with us. It’s amazing what authors actually put into their query letters. I love how you’re connecting with authors through this blog. Thanks so much, Jessica! If you come across any others, please post them! 🙂

  2. Avatar Tara Leigh Thompson says:

    Wow. Why don’t you say how you really feel? And of course, I’m sure you’re honored he deigned to send you his material (is it wrong that I assume it’s a male author?). You should definitely jump at the chance to represent a writer of his caliber. And as a bonus- I’ll bet he’ll welcome constructive criticism! What a prize!!!!

  3. Avatar Kate Douglas says:

    Thank you. I needed to see that one this morning. The word chutzpah comes to mind.

  4. This comment is an opportunity to approve a comment that is smarter, edgier, and just generally better-looking than 99.9% of the comments that usually appear on your blog.

  5. Avatar Kevin Earp says:

    Some of the comments make me wonder if the belief is that male authors are more arrogant and difficult to deal with than female authors. Hope not. Personally, I am amazed that anyone would include this line in a query. I would have been embarrassed to let this go out under my name.

    • Avatar Nicole says:

      It’s not that most men would do this, it’s that the very few people who might are more likely to be male than female. I think that’s why the saying that immediately popped into my mind when reading this wasn’t “wow, that sure took some giant ovaries!”

  6. Avatar Elissa says:

    I keep thinking this would almost work if the novel was a brilliantly written satire of writing and writers who take themselves too seriously, but… nah.

  7. Avatar Stephanie says:

    I sure hope you bought a lottery ticket after getting that query because clearly it was you lucky day.

  8. Avatar AJ Blythe says:

    Oh, but don’t you appreciate the laugh submissions like this must give you?

  9. Avatar Hollie says:

    Wow, I had to blink a few times and re-read that.
    Isn’t it saying every other author you represent is mediocre, but here’s the chance to do your job properly?

  10. Avatar Midnight_Writer says:

    I thought the same thing. 🙂

  11. Avatar Tonya Mitchell says:

    Had the writer done ANY, and I mean ANY query letter writing How To, he or she would never have sent that. It’s a glaring beacon for someone who hasn’t done his/her homework. If the query letter reads that way, what would he/she be like to work with? Already a know-it-all.