• By: Jessica Faust | Date: Aug 11 2009

More of those things that happen around the offices of BookEnds to make us chuckle.

I actually rejected a client. I think I know exactly or almost exactly what happened. I had opened her email to read it and pushed it to the side of my monitor to answer later, then continued reading e-queries. I must have tapped her window by accident and hit the signature for a rejection and of course send. Luckily she didn’t take me seriously (I think she rarely does) and apparently I made her day. In fact, she might still be chuckling about this.

I found simple irony in this email: “I thought you might enjoy forwarding these quick (60-second) video writing tips along to the aspiring writers that probably clog up your inbox or you could add them to your blog or website.”

Another author discrediting herself before even getting to the pitch: “Yeah, I know, fiction sucks because it’s so boring.” So why write it?

And I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at this, but I actually received a query for a book (and I’m still hoping it’s a typo) that was nearing 1 million words. That’s lunacy! All I can say is that I admire the writer who can write one, a one million-word book.


23 responses to “LOL”

  1. Laughter is great medicine for whatever ails ya, so I'm glad the office gets a chuckle now and then.

  2. Avatar CKHB says:

    1 million words is a 4,000 page book. Holy cow.

  3. Avatar S.D. says:

    Au contraire (sp?), during Nanowrimo, there were two people who made the big 1 mil in one stinking month! Another girl said he got even higher (about 1.3 million?) but the word counter wouldn't let her validate it.

  4. 1 million words. Now THAT is a book. I've never understood these authors who drone on and on and on and on. I have no problem finishing a book at 100,000 words. What are people doing, writing their entire life stories?

  5. Stephen King sent you a query?

  6. Avatar suzie says:

    I'm not sure if it's a typo either – but if it's not I may have seen that same query floating around the internet.

  7. Avatar Anonymous says:

    So, I don't suppose I can hope that your recent rejection of my submission was an "accident?" Just kidding. (sigh)

    I still enjoy your blog.

  8. Avatar Becke Davis says:

    I'm reaching the burn-out point from all the non-fiction assignments I've had recently. They pay the bills but fiction is so much more fun.

    Anyway, thanks for the giggle. I soooo needed this today!

    And now, back to work.

  9. Avatar Becke Davis says:

    And, just saying, NaNoWriMo is insane enough without reaching ONE FREAKING MILLION WORDS. I don't know whether to bow to those people or buy them a drink. I made it to 65K, and even that was a struggle. A million? Nightmare time.

  10. Avatar Reesha says:

    Can someone say sequel? If I had a million words, I'd break it up into more than just one book. Seriously.
    But I do highly admire them for having a 'completed' novel at that length.

    A million words isn't all that much to read. How long did it take me to read the Harry Potter series? Like a week? A month? Ok, maybe it is long.

  11. Avatar Dara says:

    I was gonna mention the two writers during NaNo that claimed they wrote 1 Million words. Hoping it wasn't one of them! 😛

    I would hope that was a typo too. Hopefully they meant 100,000.

  12. OMG, how can you and Kim stand it? Like Angie says, laughter is indeed great medicine. But, really, Jessica, rejecting your own client? Isn't that illegal or something?

  13. Avatar Craven says:

    One million words? I can just see it at the bookstore, "Harvey, get the dolly for a carry out."

    That book propably needs to be a trilogy (if tri is Latin for seven).

    I just saw Wonder Boys last night, and this smacks of that (rent it if you haven't seen it – it's a great movie for any writer).

  14. I recently got a mailed form rejection from an agent I'd told I'd accepted representation back in May – and we had exchanged several friendly emails and he'd asked to know when my book sold. (Which it just did, so when I emailed him I asked about the "rejection.")

    He said my SASE should have been recycled but somehow ended up in the form reject pile, and apologized. I thought it was funny.

  15. Avatar Jarred says:

    Don't get too excited. It's a million words but it's the same word a million times over.

  16. Avatar PV Lundqvist says:

    I've heard you have to write about a million words before you get good at the craft of writing. That author got it all out of the way in one go.

  17. Avatar Jeanne Ryan says:

    I heard somewhere you need to write a million words before you're published. I didn't realize they meant all at once.

    Of course, now I'm thinking of Dr. Evil from Austin Powers

    "Here's the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for… ONE MILLION WORDS!"

  18. I'm glad to know that you're reacting with humor rather than frustration – it's nice to take a glance into the day in the life of a publisher…

  19. Avatar Sheila Deeth says:

    I'm trying to work out how many pages, and how many inches thick, a book with a million words would be. Wow!

    Ok, CKHB says 4,000. That's still wow.

  20. Avatar ChristaCarol says:

    Hehe, thanks for the chuckle, glad you guys could get a laugh. Laughter IS great medicine, like Angie said.

  21. Avatar Janet Reid says:

    I received that million word novel query recently. I of course sent a personal rejection saying it wasn't quite right for me, but BookEnds was specifically looking for big ass, wordy, repetitive novels.

    Always glad to be of help.

    Why is a bolt of lightning headed toward ….OW!!!!!!

  22. Avatar Julie says:

    Don't get too excited. It's a million words but it's the same word a million times over.
    Best place for your complete Internet marketing

  23. Avatar Anonymous says:

    (all work and no play makes jack a dull boy)*100,000